If I told you that most blogposts take me around 8 to 10 hours to write (this is excluding any photo editing) you’d probably wonder why I ever even bother writing them in the first place, I mean who has that much time to waste in this day and age of being perpetually busy?! Well just lately I’ve been thinking exactly that, and about whether this blog is actually worth my time and if I should invest more into it. I’ve been thinking about why I blog and what it means to me, how it fits into my life and what I actually get out of it, and last Friday something happened that helped me get the answers to those questions.
I often think about how I wish I was someone who regularly pumps out three to four fabulously written blogposts a week accompanied by amazing imagery and all wrapped up in a fun and witty tone of voice. But I’m not, and I twist myself up in knots because of that. The reason for this is that I really struggle to write and agonise over each and every word, sentence and paragraph, editing as I go along and very rarely writing a piece all in one go. More often than not I’m left thinking before I’ve even finished, “cripes that’s a right pile of tosh isn’t it” and then I start all over again. The beginning bit is always the bit I find the hardest and I normally feel a lot like this when sitting down to write, which is pretty ironic considering I’m one of the most talkative people I know! My lack of confidence in my writing is the sole reason why I post so infrequently and why, more often than not, most posts start with “a few weeks/months/years ago such-and-such happened” as it takes me forever to psyche myself up and the photos pile up and I end up back-dating more posts than I should.
So why do it? Why do I blog? Well I’ve realised that I blog because it’s a creative outlet, because it’s mine, because it’s something tangible that I’ve created and despite the fact that I cause myself no end of headaches and heartache doing it, I love writing. Writing is something that I have a deep passion for, and have done since I was a child. My blog is a realisation of a childhood dream to be a writer and having a blog makes me feel like I’ve succeeded at something, that in my own little way I’ve made a dream come true. I feel like I can sit down next to my 8-year old self and say “keep at it, keep reading, keep squeezing every single second out of every single experience you have because it will all be so very, very worth it”. I don’t blog to gain followers, or to show you a constant stream of daily outfits (which is totally fine if that’s why you blog – I don’t judge!) I blog because I love to write. My blog is my diary, it’s my forum to be as honest as I want to be (this post is case in point of that fact!) and to air my over-enthsued musings on whatever I please, it’s a documentation of my life and everything I enjoy and, for those reasons I’ve decided to keep at it.
There’s also another reason; on Friday a blogger that I’ve admired for at least a good few years now told me that she really liked my writing style. It was such a simple comment but it made the 10-plus hours that I’d taken to write the post she’d commented on that bit more worthwhile, plus I did get a bit of a warm fuzzy feeling inside! Mainly it spurred me on to do something that has been long overdue. Over the weekend I at long last wrote my About Me page which you may (or may not!) have noticed has been blank since I very first started this blog back in March 2012. Nothing too fanfare-inducing but actually to me it was a huge deal as it represents my commitment to my blog and seriously, it’s taken me almost two blumming years to write! I also made myself a little pact. What that means is more frequent (and up-to-date!) posts regardless of how long they take to write, although I’m going to try and whittle that timeframe down as by crikey I need to. It also means that instead of beating myself up that I’m not as good as the bloggers and writers that I admire, that I’ll continue and won’t give up. Truthfully I try and forget that anyone reads this tiny little part of the internet that I call my own, but if you do, thank you. So here goes. Wish me luck!
These photos were taken at Look Mum No Hands! on Mare Street, London E8 who make a cracking cup of coffee and have lots of plug sockets to boot = freelancers paradise! www.lookmumnohands.com